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Memoir Interview Kit

Questions built to be recorded, not written. Open this on a phone, hit record, and work through a section at a time.

How to use it

Record, don’t take notes. Six to ten sessions of about an hour each covers a whole life. Ask open questions about scenes rather than facts — “what did the kitchen smell like” gets you more than “where did you grow up”. Let the digressions run; they’re usually the book. An hour of recorded conversation is worth more than a year of intending to write something down.

Childhood

  1. Where did you live, and what did the house smell like?
  2. Who was in the room at dinner?
  3. What did you get in trouble for?
  4. What did your parents worry about?
  5. What was your happiest ordinary day?
  6. What frightened you?
  7. What did you want to be?
  8. Who outside the family mattered most?

Growing up

  1. What was your first job and what did it pay?
  2. Who was your first real friend?
  3. What music was playing?
  4. When did you first feel like an adult?
  5. What did you get wrong about the world?
  6. Who believed in you?
  7. What did you do that your parents never found out about?

Work

  1. What was the first thing you were genuinely good at?
  2. What was the worst job you ever had?
  3. Who taught you your trade?
  4. What was the hardest year?
  5. What decision would you make differently?
  6. What are you proudest of that nobody noticed?
  7. When did you know it was time to stop?

Love and family

  1. How did you meet?
  2. What do you remember about the wedding that wasn’t planned?
  3. What surprised you about becoming a parent?
  4. What did you argue about?
  5. What did you get right?
  6. What do you wish you had said?

Turning points

  1. What is the closest you came to disaster?
  2. Who did you lose, and when?
  3. What changed you the most?
  4. When did you start over?
  5. What did you believe then that you don’t now?

What you’d pass on

  1. What do you want the grandchildren to know?
  2. What advice did you ignore and shouldn’t have?
  3. What are you still curious about?
  4. What would you want said at your funeral?
  5. What was the point of it all, do you think?
Family history guides

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